Dear Luann

Why does it seem like I am so much smarter then everyone around me?  And what the hell is this purple sore on my tongue?

Lingual Violet

Dear Lingual,

Maybe the problem is that you are much stupider and white trashier then everyone else.  Like my mama used to say "When it seems that you over educate everyone around you, you will just as soon grow purple sores on your tongue."  That should answer your second question too.

Dear Luann,

Is it normal to want to travel to the planet Neptune and only Neptune?  I dont want to stop at punk ass Jupitar or hosebag Saturn.  Those planets can lick my ass.

Space Biznatch

Dear Spacenatch,

Funny just yesterday I was asking why we dont hear anything about neptune.  I mean you hear about venus crossing over the moon, landing on mars, even how those really are not rings around Saturn.  I think that Neptune has a thing about earth, and maybe that is why you want to visit it....wait you fucking cunt, you cant visit Neptune.  I can't believe I just wasted all this typing and you cant even visit it.  Bitch!

Dear Luann

This is my problem.  If I got a sex change operation and then got turned into a man, would it still be okay to pee sitting down?  Or is this too taboo?  Also, do you know where I could eat some babies?

Mr/Mrs.X

Dear Trans

Actually what is funny about this is that my Uncle Sam got so fat that he would have to sit on the toilet to pee and ended up getting killed by fellow keswickians for this practice.  Turns out that they he was a witch and burned him at the stake but in reality he was so fat that he could not see his privates and when he thought he was holding his willy he was actually holding a long lump of fat and would pee on himself.  Well, he didnt know because he lost all feeling in his legs due to the all over fatness.  Anywho, Walmart sells babies to eat.

Thanks to a one Nikki Donadio for providing the questions.  More then I can say for you lazy bastards.  Enjoy!